MyDD :: Gay Marriage in California

Gay Marriage in California

by Maryscott OConnor, Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:26:00 PM EST

Crossposted from MY LEFT WING

I hope I live to see the day when the exclusions of gays from the federal, state and societal benefits and responsibilities of marriage will seem as foreign, repugnant and indefensible as did the anti-miscegenation laws of the first half of the 20th century;

I hope I live to see the day when society scorns loudly and frequently anyone who even thinks about carrying a placard proclaiming his god's loathing of people who are different from himself;

I hope I live to see the day when the insidious cover of religion no longer suffices to validate bigotry and ignorance;

I hope I live to see the day when an openly transsexual woman can walk into any shit-kicking bar in Texas and flirt with the man of her choice witH NO fear of being dragged to her death on a back road;

I hope I live to see the day when all human beings on this earth receive respect and acceptance from their fellow humans, irrespective of race, nationality, religion, sexuality, gender or appearance.

The California Supreme Court's decision regarding gay marriage was just another small step for humankind, though a giant leap for Californians. Surely, it provides a tiny flickering ray of hope for anyone who hopes people will eventually live up to the lofty rhetoric their philosophers and moralists espouse.

Like so many others here and elsewhere, I find myself in a holding pattern, withholding any true sense of joy or relief until the voters of California render their verdict with regard to the anti-gay marriage amendment to the California Constitution. I cannot bring myself to enjoy this moment, historically significant though it is...

As I said in answer to today's MLW's Question of the Day,

I am not convinced the bigots of California will suffer defeat in the fall. I suspect that a narrow majority will vote into the California Constitution language limiting "Marriage" to heterosexual couples.

I further suspect that this enshrining of bigotry and hatred in the state Constitution will wipe the smug smirk off the faces of those of us who thought we could just point out the logic and morality of our argument and win the day against a mindset that heeds neither logic nor fair-mindedness, let alone morality, when it comes to issues that terrify their lizard brains.

I guess I just keep waiting for another Plessy v. Ferguson to rescind all the progress made and hurtle us all back into the darkness.

Still and all, each small step forward results in ripples of change in the collective unconscious, and though it may be too much to hope that people will one day cease living in fear of what they do not understand, I do think there will come a day when at least the laws of humankind reflect its potential for achieving true equality for all under that law.

Poll

Votes: 32
Results : Vote Link : Polls

Tags: gay marriage (all tags)

Permalink :: 17 Comments :: Post a Comment

Re: Gay Marriage in California (2.00 / 2)

Afraid you are right about the coming fall vote, but then I'm a steadfast pessimist when it comes to gay rights. Maybe that's because I've lived in Wyoming and Nebraska and Texas all my life . . . or maybe it's because I'm just pragmatic.

"If you don't care about everybody, you don't care about anybody." --Ethan Mordden

by prodigal on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:33:11 PM EST

I live in New York City (2.00 / 1)

and I'm a pessimist.

The American people; they were for the war before they were against it.

by nrafter530 on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 05:51:12 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: I live in New York City (2.00 / 1)

I really can't tell the difference between pessimism and realism . . . at my age, though, it probably doesn't really matter. Yeah.

"If you don't care about everybody, you don't care about anybody." --Ethan Mordden

by prodigal on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 07:49:51 PM EST
[ Parent ]

I chose the option... (2.00 / 2)

"Yes, but it will be close."

... because I'd rather be pessimistic and surprised than optimistic and shattered.

If I can't rant, I don't want to be part of your revolution

by Maryscott OConnor on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:33:33 PM EST

I just read an article... (2.00 / 9)

http://www.startribune.com/nation/200088 94.html?location_refer=Nation:highlightM odules:2

Two women who have been together for 51 years and were pioneers of the lesbian movement finally were able to get married... again. They got married a few years back when Frisco flouted the law, but of course it got negated.

Their love and enduring commitment makes me wonder what the big deal is. Most straight couples don't stay together that long, or accomplish as much together.

In this avalanche, the pebbles get to vote.

by Dracomicron on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:34:00 PM EST

Re: I just read an article... (2.00 / 6)

I loved that story. The idea that so-called family-values conservatives oppose lifelong, loving commitments to monogamy blows my mind.

What is The October Protocol?

by Koan on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:51:41 PM EST
[ Parent ]

I'm afraid (2.00 / 7)

of what will happen in the fall. I'd like to be hopeful, but I'm more than a little concerned. As you said, it was a huge step for CA, and the idea of the Republicans violently shoving the state backward is very upsetting. CA's progress is something the entire nation should take pride in, and the thought that it could be taken away is galling. Best of luck in the fall to the people of California.

There's been some enjoyable coverage on CNN of couples lined up to be married. Everyone looks so happy, and the children are so adorable. The GOP has no right to take such joy away. No one has the right to do that.

Even John McCain lusts after teh engels.

by sricki on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:46:19 PM EST

Yeah, me too (2.00 / 3)

I can only hope that, even if they do vote against gay marriage, they don't make it retroactive, so at least those who have been waiting their whole lives to do it get to be grandfathered in and maintain their rights.

In this avalanche, the pebbles get to vote.

by Dracomicron on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 03:56:53 PM EST
[ Parent ]

That would be something, at least, (2.00 / 1)

but if the voters give them an inch, I doubt the GOP would settle for that.

Even John McCain lusts after teh engels.

by sricki on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 04:26:05 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Yeah, me too (2.00 / 1)

The initiative came out before the ruling - it was proactive - so there's no retroactivity fortunately.

Beat McCain!

by thezzyzx on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 06:02:21 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Gay Marriage in California (2.00 / 7)

Thank you for the diary. I may have more optimism about this than others. I came out at 18 in 1982. I have seen an amazing shift in our country on this issue. Most people would never have believed we would have so many people out and even be discussing gay marriage. I know because the ones I told 26 years ago did not think anything would change.

I have lived in some of the most rural and homophobic parts of the country for much of the time since. I have rarely experienced outright bigotry in North Dakota (lived there for around 16 years) or in very rural Minnesota (lived here for the past eight). I am totally out, but perhaps have a unique way of coming out to new people I meet. I usually wait until I get to know them a bit, and when I think they can handle it, I casually come out. I will say something like, "my partner this or that". People usually seem to be ok with it as long as I am not in their face with it. Then we go on to treat each other like human beings. Now I am also certain that there are plenty of people who will never accept me because I am a lesbian, but I do not usually hear much about it. And in the end I figure people who are so bigoted and narrow hate way more than me. i have not figured out a way to help these sorts of people.

"And I scream at the top of my lungs, what's going on?"

by Hollede on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 04:01:25 PM EST

Bigotry in the midwest (2.00 / 3)

Oh, we still have homophobia in the midwest to be sure, but, by and large, we are more interested in leaving other people to their business. Further, Minnesotans are far too polite to make a big deal of it. We could think that you're an abomination, and you'd never really know.

All in all, I think that's what we call progress.

Then again, we can get ugly on occasion. I was in the supermarket, and an older woman was trying to work the self-checkout device. She called over to a young black woman who was a store employee for help. The young woman walked over to her, and the older woman kept asking her if she could help, when she was obviously in the process of doing exactly that.. The young woman looked at her like she was crazy and started showing her how to operate the device, but the older woman started berating her for her "bad attitude."

I got the distinct impression that the young woman's sin was being helpful but not obsequious while black.

We still have a ways to go.

In this avalanche, the pebbles get to vote.

by Dracomicron on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 04:21:33 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Bigotry in the midwest (2.00 / 2)

I know. I work on an Indian Reservation and hear the worst kinds of things from everyone. Whites really are horribly bigoted around here and Indians often (with good reason) do not trust white people. I get to hear all the sides because everybody seems to talk to me and what I hear is not good.

"And I scream at the top of my lungs, what's going on?"

by Hollede on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 05:30:56 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Gay Marriage in California (2.00 / 4)

I am so proud of my state today, and being the optimist, knowing that the support for Gay Marriage increases with every old fart that dies and every teenager that comes to voting age, makes me hopeful.

I once got into an argument with someone from Tennesee (a republican). I was talking about how 25 percent of all illegal immigrants live in California and he was complaining about gay rights. I told him that California would happily do an exchange program with Tennesee...they could have our immigrant population and we would welcome their GBLT population. I have always believed that California's acceptance and warmth toward the GBLT community has brought us nothing but good things.

accepting McLettuce is like being 9 years old and forced to eat your own cooking

by Sychotic1 on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 04:26:15 PM EST

The problem is (2.00 / 2)

I've noticed there are two types of people on this issue.

The ones who oppose it and see it as a big deal
and the ones who couldn't care less either way.

The goal here is to get the latter to fight the bigotry of the former.

The American people; they were for the war before they were against it.

by nrafter530 on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 05:53:32 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Today we can celebrate (2.00 / 3)

See SFGate's gay wedding photo album here.

by catfish2 on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 05:00:42 PM EST

indeed (2.00 / 4)